Hunters calling a federal phone number to order duck stamps are instead connecting with a distinctive sort of wildlife. A printing error sends consumers trying to obtain the stamps-which are required in order to hunt migratory water birds-to 1-800-TRAMP24 instead of 1-800-STAMP24. Especially friendly women answer the phone and invite callers to invest $1.99 a minute to "talk only to the girls that turn you on."
Whilst there's possibly a government proofreader somewhere thinking, "Oh, duck," I believe hooking up hunters with "tramps" is a great concept. Anyone who kills animals for fun could most likely use some aid finding a date.
I live with two ducks, Quackers and Crackers (named by my young daughter), and I can tell you that they are a lot a lot more than flying "targets." Ducks are curious animals who have a zest for life that rivals that of any toddler or puppy (both of whom I have also observed in action).
Quackers and Crackers were rescued from a man who had confined them to a small pen without any puddles, clean water or even considerably food. Immediately after some intensive TLC, their accurate personalities began to emerge. They enjoy splashing in water and playing in mud, and they promptly trained me to spray water on a section of the yard to create the duck equivalent of a sand box.
When Quackers sits on her nest, Crackers guards her and will not let everyone come near. When she's off her nest, Quackers will poke Crackers in the rear end to make him take action. It reminds me of some human couples I know. If my dog Choopy tries to steal the ducks' food, for example, Quackers honks loudly and pokes Crackers in the butt as if to say, "Do something, lazy!" That is when Crackers swings into action, chasing Choopy away.
To get my attention when I'm in the garage doing laundry, Crackers sticks his head by means of the dog door and honks at me. And just like persons, Quackers and Crackers have their likes and dislikes. They both adore tomatoes, which I chop up and dump on the grass. If I put them on a plate, the ducks will not touch them. They also have favorite consumers and not-so-favorite people today. The latter, typically new visitors, will get chased.
Ducks in the wild are not so numerous from Quackers and Crackers (although no 1 is chopping up tomatoes for them). Mother ducks call their chicks to them when danger is near and ferociously defend them against predators. Males and females form monogamous pairs, and some, like whistling ducks, stay together for life, sharing parental duties.
Imagine the pitiful plight of a duck whose lifelong partner suddenly "disappears"-blasted out of the sky by a hunter. It would be bad sufficient if hunters created a clean kill each and every time, but countless birds are wounded or crippled instead and in no way recovered.
Duck hunters report an average wounding rate of 18 percent in U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service surveys, but studies using trained observers have estimated that the rate is closer to 30 percent. Even if hunters wound "just" 25 percent of the birds they shoot, that still indicates that 1 out of four ducks hit by gunfire suffers a slow, excruciating death.
There are two birds in my back yard who would say that's too countless. Hunting may well have been necessary for humans' survival 100,000 years ago, but today it is just a violent pastime practiced by a small minority of men and women who believe it is enjoyable to stalk and kill animals.
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